The Reality of Moving Abroad as an Older Adult

On New Year’s Eve 2024, I started my new life as a fulltime resident of France. I’d already been living part-time in the French countryside, having purchased a house here two years previously. I’d made friends and I had a good sense of what my life would be like. Yet, I was not truly prepared for living in France fulltime, and for what would unfold over the next 10 months.

If I'd had a better sense of what lay ahead, it would have made the transition easier as I could have planned accordingly. I want to share these lessons learned in my first year in France, so if you’re planning a move abroad, you'll be better prepared.

Don’t over schedule your first year

When I set my goals for 2025, I was way too ambitious. Still in the midst of major renovations on my home and gardens, I didn’t realize how much time over the next 10 months would be spent wading through French bureaucracy. More on that below. Nor did I realize how long it would take to find doctors and schedule appointments, plan a summer vacation and happily host several friends from America. Other goals, including the growth of my blog, writing projects, learning the language, and expanding my social circles were sadly neglected.

Since I had already been living part-time in France, I had a headstart on many of the tasks required when moving to a new country. I had purchased a house, set up utilities, insurance, internet and a cell phone number. I’d shopped for weeks buying everything required for my new household since I only came with a few suitcases. I’d already purchased a car and found car insurance. I’d secure a tax number with the local government so I could pay my property tax.

Moving to a new country means getting up to speed on entirely new ways of doing just about everything. So give yourself a break and keep your schedule light the first year.

Have patience with the bureaucracy

Applying for a visa is only the beginning. In preparation for my move, I had carefully researched the requirements, but it wasn't until I arrived in France that I discovered the additional bureaucracy for first-year residents. It’s been 10 months of dealing with administrative tasks on multiple government platforms. From validating my residency, signing up for the French healthcare system, finding a mutuelle (a supplement to my medical insurance), applying for my driver’s license exchange and starting the process for my visa renewal. Each step took many hours securing the right documents, getting documents translated, registering on multiple government websites and carefully navigating the offline and online processes, and all this in a language I had yet to master.

There were hours of frustration with internet sites and processes that were not always intuitive. Sometimes I just had to take a deep breath, walk away from the computer for a short time out, and realize that nothing happens quickly in France. Yet, in the end, I succeeded with the help of English-speaking phone lines and email support provided by the various government agencies.

Make time for friends, connections and community

While living alone in the French countryside could seem like a lonely and isolated life, I have not found that to be the case. I have a lovely, supportive community and it's been pretty easy to meet people, even with my limited French. I made friends before I moved here fulltime when I joined an ever-expanding weekly group of British and French English speakers. I’ve also gotten to know some of my neighbors and others through local groups.

As my language skills improve, I hope to make more connections. I’m an introvert at heart, but I know I need to put myself out there. Whether you move to the countryside or to a city, there are plenty of ways to meet people with common interests through walking groups, exercise classes, environmental activists’ groups, spiritual groups and more.

Of course, I miss my friends in the US. And while I’m making new friends here, they are not the ones who know me inside and out and with whom I share a common culture. Thank goodness for WhatsApp and other apps that keep us connected.

Familiarize yourself with the healthcare system before you need it

Being in my 60s, access to good healthcare is important. France is known for having excellent healthcare. Yet, like the rest of the world, there is a shortage of medical service providers and particularly in certain rural areas. When I moved to France full-time, even before I was on the French healthcare system, I needed to find medical services.

Right before I left the US, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Before I could find a sleep specialist in France, I needed to secure a primary-care doctor to write the referral. Doctolib is the main website for finding a doctor, although not all medical providers use Doctolib. Luckily, I found a local doctor and set up an appointment. He wrote that referral as well as one for physical therapy and a dermatologist. And that visit, without insurance, only cost me 35 euros. Although Doctolib.fr is helpful, friends have been the best resource for finding medical professionals in the area. And I've found walking into a doctor’s office is often the easiest way to make an appointment.

After three months of residency, I applied for the French medical system and received my carte vitale. And I found an insurance agency to purchase a mutuelle, which is a “top-up” or supplemental health insurance for more complete coverage of medical expenses.

Since it can take months to find an available doctor and secure an appointment, familiarizing yourself with the healthcare system should be one of your first priorities. Start looking for a primary care doctor who takes new patients, and for any specialists you require. Although urgent care is available, don’t wait until you need a dentist, an ophthalmologist or other medical professional to start looking for one.

Learn the language

Ideally, I would recommend having a solid base of French before you arrive. However, I know that’s not always possible. And it certainly wasn’t the case for me. I wish I had taken more time to work on my French sooner while I was living here parttime. While I can navigate my way through most transactions at a grocery, boulangerie or restaurant, I'm a long way from fluently carrying on an in-depth conversation. This makes life more difficult in many ways. I recently started weekly one-on-one online class with a native French speaker, and I am hoping to see some rapid improvement.

Embrace the culture and “vive la différence” 

I’ve always enjoyed traveling, meeting people from different parts of the world and exploring new cultures. Everything in France is new and different, and that intrigues me. But at the same time, the differences experienced on a daily basis can be overwhelming. Life moves at a slower pace than I’m used to. There are no yellow lines on the roads to indicate two-way traffic. The grocery store is filled with unfamiliar foods. And finding my favorite condiments, hygiene and beauty products — or close facsimiles — is not easy.

At the same time, I am learning to appreciate the differences, and I realize I don’t have to adapt to doing everything the French way. I’m not going to eat dinner at 8 pm when I’m hungry at 6 pm. But I appreciate being close to nature, the access to fresh and delicious food, the community spirit, the café culture, the beauty of centuries old villages, and being greeted with a respectful, “Bonjour Madame.” And so much more.

I recently visited the 15th-century Château du Plessis-Bourré near Anger.

Take time for self-care

Moving to another country is a huge undertaking. It takes careful planning, courage and stamina. It’s exciting, but stressful both physically, mentally and emotionally. You must be good to yourself. Appreciate how far you’ve come, and all you’ve accomplished. Don’t beat yourself up for the things you haven’t completed yet. There’s always next year.

The best forms of self-care are doing the things you love. For me, that’s spending time in nature with a long walk along the river, meditating in the morning and puttering in my garden. I enjoy spending time with friends over coffee or tea. And sometimes just sipping coffee at a café by myself watching the world go by. Other forms of self-care include spending a morning pursuing all the lovely goodies at a brocante (flea market) or vide grenier (yard sale), taking a hot bath and curling up in the evening with a good book. Do what delights you!

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I believe knowing what’s ahead can make the transition to another country easier. I’m in the process of creating The Complete Checklist for Moving to France. Applying for a visa is only the first step. I have compiled all the information I wish I had known before moving abroad. Knowing what to expect in the first year would have better prepared me both physically and emotionally. I hope to share this information with you soon.